To date I have been targeted as a fire hydrant about five times. Although this may not seem like a lot given the numerous times I handle nervous, wriggling animals with full bladders, I am only counting the occasions involving the appearance of significant malicious intent. For a little context, I used to work at a boarding kennel where I walked all the dogs multiple times a day.
In short: Meatball Beefcake sighted me (no, I am not changing names for the anonymity of those involved because this name is just too much) →Meatball Beefcake approached →Meatball Beefcake sniffed → he lifts his stubby little bulldog leg → time for new scrub pants. Other occasions include over-excited Dachshunds with impeccable aim, nervous rats, and multiple patients receiving abdomen palpitation during ultrasounds. Honestly this no longer bothers me since urine is sterile. It was entirely different, however, when a drunk frat boy peed in the corner of my room several years ago (any threats to “neuter” him were entirely justified).
On the same topic of animal encounters; urine is not the only excitement I face. I will always remember the time the veterinarian I shadow reached out during an exam to bare hand a terrier’s poop to prevent it from hitting the table.
“It’s Veterinarian candy,” he stated with far too much zest. I still complimented him on his reflexes.
The veterinary profession is one riddled with repulsing situations, however, I find that it’s merely a chance to filter your friends. Can you handle me discussing tapeworms segments as I prepare French toast? Your rebuttal is one involving that one time when you saw whole lucky charms marshmallows in your dog’s poop? Okay, let’s be friends.
I’m simple. The way to my heart is daring scientific banter. Oh and animal puns, bear with me but sometimes I cannot resist 😉